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That Man

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A Modest Proposal:



THAT MAN

 

By William Thomas

 

 


I’ve had it. No more. Finito, already. Why should I let an illiterate idiot with a weird hairdo dominate my life? It’s time to deal with the nonstop antagonist of all creaturs great and small in the only way that will silence him forever.

 

No, not the bullet so many are recommending. (To which I reply: It’s not the man, it’s the mindset of so many like him in their DIY self-destructing nation.) 

 

Here’s something better. A move that will result not in faux-martyrdom and an escalation of the ongoing American War Between (Mental) States… but an echoing silence.

 

I’m talking about resistance that works, a revolt that cannot fail, a revolution that may come in time. I’m talking about inflicting long-overdue ego erasure on a man who fears this most of all.

 

Can we do it? Can we turn resolutely away from that dangerous clown whose undisputed epic genius lies in getting millions, possibly billions of otherwise mostly sane people to continuously invoke his name?

 

You know what I’m talking about… 


It doesn’t matter where you are or who you’re with. You might be discussing all this weird weather, or the best place to score an electric bike, but within a minute or two someone will bring up his name. “Did you hear what…”

 

Guaranfreakingteed.

 

Though he revels in praise, and ridicules criticism in ways that instantly validate the worst being said about him, what this guy needs more than oxygen, relishes beyond even his Big Mac transfusions, is attention. Like blowing air into a misshapen balloon, voicing his five-letter name in any context is all he needs to stay inflated, to prove to himself that he is not just the ignorant, women-hating, mass murdering, reality-challenged psycho racist leering back at him from every televised mirror.

 

You know who I mean. His name is a dirge that never stops! Like an incessantly pounded drum… the steady drip of a faucet you cannot turn off… a mindless mantra inviting calamity… hour-after-mind-numbing hour, everywhere you look, every news commentator and conversation you overhear – that soul-destroying beat goes on:

 

____!  ____!  ____!

 

 

Until there is only one thing left to do, something I should have done long before but was too locked into my own horrified fascination to attempt:

 

Turn

 

him

 

off.

 


JUST HIT DELETE

We can do it. But we will have to be on close personal guard until our unproductive habit of reflexively repeating his name flips into healthy, liberating shunning.

 

Remember: We attract and perpetuate whatever we think about most with the strongest emotions attached.

 

I know. It’s not easy letting go of the star of late-night comedy routines, the man we love to hate. That god-cursed name is everywhere. Even “alternative” news sites are mesmerized, unable to help themselves from endlessly reposting and reprising this brand from hell. Eight-billion names of people on this planet and AlterNet’s homepage on Sept. 3, 2018 lists 21 headlines featuring that name.

 

More than ever, I am convinced that there must be more to life than having it hijacked 24/7 by a man you would either run screaming from or kick in the nuts if you encountered him on the street.

 

There is only one thing left to do:

 

Never again write or utter that name.

 

I am asking everyone I talk to, and everyone who reads this to do the same.

 

Complete blackout.

 

Radio silence.

 

Dead air.

 

Instead, from here on out let us simply refer to:

 


that man

 

(lower case)

 


EVERYONE GETS IT

So far, everyone I’ve tried this on has instantly recognized who I mean. Without exception, they have immediately and joyously switched from using a single, over-inflated, extremely improper noun to two tiny words signifying… not much at all.

 

Please spread these two substitute words.

 


YOUR INSTANT REWARD

1. Ditching an interminable source of brain-frying stress.

 

2. Freeing yourself from obsessing over an undeserving bogeyman who cares not one whit about you.

 

3. Suddenly discovering something – anything and/or anyone – much worthier of your time and attention.

 


Now, any but the most dire story with that name in its headline, I click right on by.

 

Life is short and then we croak. Why waste another instant of time on a pretend president who colours the American flag he’s always waving with blue stripes?

 

Not me.

 

I’m done.

 

You’ve just read 732 words about someone whose name I never mentioned.

 

 

 

 

that man's supporters -Michael-In-Norfolk

 It’s not only that man, it's the same mindset among his supporters -Michael-In-Norfolk





 发件人     William Thomas 2018