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Reality Has Yet To Be Confirmed | William Thomas Online | William Thomas

Reality Has Yet To Be Confirmed



art installation, "Everything is fine" depicting half-submerged Trump by Jacques Rival, architect, in the Moselle river in Metz, France. -Jean-Christophe Verhaegen:AFP:Getty

"Everything Is Fine" by architect, Jacques Rival depicts the Donald half-submerged in the Moselle river, France.                                         -Jean-Christophe Verhaegen/AFP/Getty 


REALITY HAS YET TO BE CONFIRMED

by 

William Thomas

 

Despite its shoulder-tapping insistence, reality has yet to be officially confirmed by the White House, which recently accused those perfidious Persians of – wait for it – time travel!

     “There is little doubt that even before the deal’s existence, Iran was violating its terms,” spluttered Stephanie Grisham.

Iranian Scientist Claims to Have Built "Time Machine" -nationalgeographic.com

Iranian scientist claims to have built "Time Machine” -National Geographic

     The indignant White House Press Secretary was referring to the nuclear deal Obama signed with Iran, before his presidential successor came within minutes of starting an all-out war to “stop Iran from getting the bomb” it was not pursuing under the agreement he ripped up!

     No wonder nobody wants to sign anything with Washington. Especially before those deals are made.



famed Battle of Baggage Claim (1776)

Battle of the Baggage Claim (1776) saw many bags lost.

 

RAMMING THE RAMPARTS

Reality took another hit at Trump’s July 4 extravaganza, when the world's foremost military expert hailed the “brand new” F-22 Raptor fighter jet. Never mind that these hangar queens were last produced in 2011. America's Blunderer In Chief went on to celebrate the War of 1812, when “Our Army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over airports, it did everything it had to do.”

     I wish I was making this up.

     As Abby Zimet reported: RevolutionaryWarAirportStories took off faster than most planes out of Atlanta, with tragic tales of the battle of Jet Blue, the hardships of Paul Revere's red-eye flight, the shortage of pretzels and hardtack on layover in New York, the high price  for parking horses at Dulles, and Washington's historic delay due to long lines at Continental.



Preggers, eh? -Daily Stromer

Perversely preggers -Daily Stromer


PREGNANT MEN HAVE RIGHTS, TOO

Shamelessly soliciting the trans vote, during the recently televised Democratic circus, former Housing Secretary Julia Castro righteously demanded “reproductive justice” for pregnant men wanting free abortions.

     He called them “trans females”.

     Outraged online stormtrooper, Andrew Anglin of the Daily Stormer, stormed: “What Castro did is called misgendering and dead-naming, and it is pure evil. It is time for Julian Castro to resign from the presidential race he enrolled in and disappear in shame. Some men have vaginas, Julian – it’s time to get over it.”

     Say WHAT?

     A bemused Tucker Carlson confirmed his outrageous conservative bias by reminding FOX viewers that the total number of "men who dress as women and get pregnant” is zero.  

     Even worse, he called it “lunacy” to insist otherwise.

 

OUT WITH THE OLD CORPSES…

Scoring a major environmental win, the White House has thrown out decades-old methodology to achieve its Affordable Clean Energy goals. The government now proudly proclaims that not counting every fatality will lead to fewer deaths from air pollution.

 

Koons with his pet rabbit

Koons with his pet rabbit

$91 MILLION BUNNY

Eh, what’s up doc? Dismissed as “kitschy junk by a self-promoting moron,” Jeff Koons’ faceless chrome Rabbit recently fetched $91 million at auction.

     Pretty good for a moron. Is the buyer the real idiot? Or does he know something we don’t about the worth of metal rabbits that can’t even hop. Or talk to toddlers. Either way, there’s no doubt that Koons is a con artist extraordinaire.



Confederate Railroad never took success for granted


PIECE WORK

The insanity-signalling Illinois Dept. of Agriculture has booted the popular southern country-rock band, Confederate Railroad, off the state fair grandstand lineup.

     “While every artist has a right to blah blah blah, we believe this decision is in the best interest of serving all the blah blah blah in our blah blah blah, gushed State Fair Manager Josh Gross.  

     Confederate Railroad has seen more than 20 of their singles on Billboard since their first recording hit the Hot Country Songs charts in 1987. As usual, the axe was tripped by a single complainant – this time, local blogger Rich Miller, who panicked when he heard that in the “Land of Lincoln”, the railroaded band was green-lighted to play at “a state-owned facility”!!!

     “I’ve never heard anyone claim that the group has Confederacy-loving song lyrics or anything,” Miller cogently argued. “It’s just… well…”  

     “Confederate Railroad has no songs that could be considered or construed as racist,” Saving Country Music responded. “Being disallowed to play a government-organized event and venue simply because of their name and after being approved opens up a slippery slope of concerns for the future of free speech in musical performance and beyond.”

     Country music legend Charlie Daniels tweeted: “This political correctness thing is totally out of control. When a fair cancels the Confederate Railroad band because of their name its giving in to facism, plain and simple and our freedom disappears piece by piece.”

    

PREGNANT MOM ARRESTED FOR GETTING SHOT

In Alabama, 27-year-old Marshae Jones has been charged with manslaughter for having a miscarriage after being shot in the stomachJones is being held on $50,000 bond after being indicted by a Jefferson County grand jury and taken into custody.

     Initially charged instead of Jones, Ebony Jemison was dismissed after police claimed he acted in “self-defense” by shooting an unarmed pregnant woman in the belly.

     Which makes sense. At least in ol' Dixie. After becoming the first state to enshrine “fetal personhood” in its constitution, in March 2019 an Alabama judge allowed an aborted fetus to sue the clinic that performed the procedure.

 

Coal-dusted Mary Poppins shamelessly flirting


RIGHTEOUSLY ROBBING KIDS 

Don’t look now, but Mary Poppins has been outed after the ever-vigilant New York Times accused the pretend screen personality of “shameless flirting”.

     Shamelessly flirting! And in blackface no less, after soot smudged her countenance   while dancing with chimney sweeps in this 1964 hit movie. So now the charming Ms. Poppins is a “racist” and a hussy.     

     The fairy tale classics Little Red Riding Hood, Sleeping Beauty and The Ugly Duckling are also verboten.

     And the once-popular Lion King has been similarly exposed as “racist” after someone pointed out that this classic children’s animation portrays Africa as “one big wild animal preserve.”

     Calling wildlife and wildlands “racist” makes about as much sense as any of this.

  

Little Mermaid


LITTLE MERMAID GETS MAKEOVER

Disney says its live-action remake of the 1989 children’s classic “The Little Mermaid” will star black actress Halle Bailey in the lead role as Ariel.

     Ariel is delectably Danish. In Hans Christian Andersen's original 1836 fairytale, she has skin as “clear and delicate as a rose petal” and “eyes as blue as the deepest sea.” Her grandfather was Poseidon of Greek mythology.  

     Undeterred by their own contradictions, the PC police have also accused young white girls of “cultural appropriation” for dressing up as the Polynesian Moana for Halloween.

     Confusingly, the PC brigade previously blasted The Little Mermaid as “quite sexist” and “seriously disturbing” for sending “the wrong message” to young girls.

 

BLACK LIKE HIM (ALMOST)

In this cowardly new fantasyland, where mercurial Feelings Matter Most, even choosing a famous black actor to play a black person is no longer good enough.

     Will Smith has been unpicked to play the role of Richard Williams, father and coach of tennis sisters Venus and Serena Williams after someone observed that the famous actor’s skin is “not black enough.

     The real Williams’ skin tone was darker.

     “Colorism matters!” a Twitterer melted down. “Literally any actor” with the correct shade of skin should have been given the role, chirped another.

     Scarlett Johansson need not apply. Her politically insensitive XX chromosomes have already forced this accomplished actress out of a transgender role, after those with “real” make-believe genders complained.

     Presumably, Australian Nicole Kidman can forget playing American roles, remarks reporter Colin Joseph. 

     The PC-persecuted Smith has apparently decided not to audition for the starring role in Aladdin because he “can’t possibly play the role of a fictional blue genie,” another blogger bleated.

     “Where are all the blue actors?” Joseph laments.


Sorbonne Rehearsal of the play The Suppliants -Théâtre Démodocos

 Sorbonne rehearsal of "The Suppliants" -Théâtre Démodocos

chorus in The Suppliants, Syracuse, Sicily, 2015 -stratagemmi.it

"The Suppliants” chorus in Sicily, 2015 -stratagemmi.it


ANCIENT GREEKS POLITICALLY CORRECTED

Over in perpetually pissed-off France, courageous university activists at the Sorbonne blocked a theater performance of “The Suppliants” by Aeschylus. Why? Some characters accurately wore – don’t look! – blackface.

     This could promote racial stereotypes. Never mind the ancient Greek playwright’s creative intent. Or that many proud people around the Med actually have black faces. Director Director Philippe Brunet patiently explained that skin colour in Greece predated the transatlantic slave trade by more than 2,200 years. The play's "ethno-geographic” focus had nothing to do with race


Manet's "Olympia" - NYTimes

Manet's "Olympia" - New York Times

Manet's "Laure"

Manet's “Luare"


A PAINTING BY ANOTHER NAME…

In yet another clumsy attempt at cultural “sensitivity”, a French museum has renamed a number of masterpieces after their black subjects. Manet's “Olympia” is now, “Laure” after the woman who posed as a black maid in the background.

     Not to be left out, the Art Gallery of Ontario has renamed a painting by Canada’s foremost Group of Seven artist in a frantic effort to “eliminate culturally insensitive languages” from titles in its collection. Originally called, “Indian Church” – quite possibly because it actually shows a church in an indigenous village – Emily Carr’s blooper is now safely retagged, “Church at Yuquot Village”.

     Renaming paintings “displaces the work from its historical context, which does even more damage,” one critic dared remark. He must be referring to how Ontario’s cowardice has deleted yet another facet of Canada’s indigenous heritage.

 

CHRIS DISSED

The statue-and-painting covering business is booming. And someone somewhere must be sighing with righteous relief after the U. of Notre Dame announced it will cover up a 1,600-square-foot mural of Christopher Columbus, because the explorer committed atrocities against the inconvenient locals after he “discovered” them living in the place he’d just… discovered.

     “The attitude now seems to be, if history is upsetting or too hard to handle, we should just try to forget it ever happened and destroy anything that might remind us,” comments RT. “With delicate modern sensibilities dictating everything these days, it looks like it’s time to enjoy these creations of the past before it’s too late.

 

WHEN CLIMATE CHANGE IS A GAS

At least, with prolonged extreme weather events causing worldwide climate chaos, French cops have responded appropriately. On the hottest day in the history of la Belle Republique, with temperatures topping 113F, police parked their water cannons – and tear-gassed climate campaigners in Paris instead.

 

DON’T REMIND US

Sharp-eyed New Jersey lawmakers have moved to remove The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn from all public schools, to avoid “an uncomfortable atmosphere in the classroom.

     But attempting to learn history without ever feeling uncomfortable is not, dare I say it – realistic.

     Like pulling down civil war statues (instead of installing full-disclosure plaques), “it is highly doubtful that sanitizing American classrooms will do anyone any good. In fact, it practically guarantees that Americans will be doomed to repeat history because they are essentially burning the controversial books that allowed such unfortunate moments to be remembered,” responds author, Robert Bridge.

     Looking at America’s relentless succession of murderous military defeats, anyone would think no books detailed the bloody folly of Vietnam.

     But who reads anymore?



 historic mural depicts the treatment of American Indians and African Americans. (Photo- Yalonda M. James : SF Chronicle)

 “Life of Washington" -Yalonda M. James / SF Chronicle)


GEORGE WASHINGTON PAINTED OVER

Not to be outdone, after eight unremarked decades, the “Life of Washington” mural will be either covered or painted over (at a cost of $860,000), after San Francisco’s George Washington High School unexpectedly discovered the old painting  “traumatizes students and community members” with historical depictions “offensive and demeaning to Native Americans and African Americans.”

     Painted in 1936, one of 13 panels depicts George gesturing toward a departing group of explorers walking past a “deceased Native American.” Another shows America’s Founding Dad standing next to several slaves performing manual labor – without offering to lend a hand.

     But offending viewers was the artist’s entire point! As Nebojsa Malic points out, “the mural itself was a social justice statement of its time – it was painted in 1936 by George Arnautoff, a Communist artist who studied under Diego Rivera, and wanted to depict Washington without any of the patriotic romanticism.

     “The paintings do not glorify George Washington; they attack him for his views and his actions,” Peter Drier picks up. They are a remarkable teaching tool, providing educators with opportunities to help students consider how the country was founded on the backs of slaves and native Americans.  They give students – and the general public – a different view of George Washington than the one typically portrayed in textbooks. Shielding students from these images is stupid.”

     Much of history is offensive, which is why we would do well to remember those offenses. But in order to perpetuate racism, genocide, and oppression, American students must be kept “safe” from America’s long history of racism, genocide, and oppression.

     Most GWHS students are against messing with the mural. Or don’t care. One commented, We should be teaching about the mural and what it means. I’m half native American. I have no problem with the mural. It depicts what happened.

 

Kate Smith Introduces "God Bless America" - November 10, 1938

Kate Smith Introduces "God Bless America" - November 10, 1938


“GOD HELP AMERICA”

Hailed by the New York Times as an “imperishable emblem of America”… honoured with the Presidential Medal of Freedom… introduced to British Royals by President Roosevelt, “Miss Smith is America”... the iconic sports stadium singer of “God Bless America” has seen her statue cloaked and recordings pulled after it was determined that two of Kate Smith’s 1930’s songs were (and you know where this is going) – “racist and offensive.”

     Triggered Snowflakes are rejoicing after the singer of “That’s Why Darkies Were Born” was deposed as the full-throated “inseparable” voice of America. Performed by African-American entertainer and social activist Paul Robeson (of ‘Ol’ Man River’ fame), the “Darkies” song was considered progressive social satire of racism in its day. (The jape, “Pickaninny Heaven” graced a 1933 film.) 

     Foolishly omitting a thorough background check, Irving Berlin wrote “God Bless America” in 1938, especially for Smith.

Kate Smith safely smothered -Mark Hill


STAR-CROSSED BANNER SHAMED

Meanwhile, the statue of “Star-Spangled Banner” composer, Francis Scott Key has been defaced in Baltimore, after Salon denounced the anthem and Key as… “racist”.

     Instead of this ode to rebellion, a replacement mantra is now being chanted from sea to rising sea: No USA at all!

     This is how a navel-fixated nation lets it’s gaze slip lower, becomes afraid of its own shadow side – and consumes itself.

 

Siri "Star Lord" query -Financial Post

Siri query -Financial Post


UN SLAMS “SEXIST” ALEXA & SIRI

Just when you thought things might work out after all, the UN says those pleasant feminine voices used by default in AI assistants like Amazon’s Alexa and Apple’s Siri, “promote gender stereotypes of female subservience.”

     Slap your forehead. Of course! These digital assistants are too polite when teased by mischievous humans. Or the downright lewd.

     “Siri’s submissiveness in the face of gender abuse – and the servility expressed by so many other digital assistants projected as young women – provides a powerful illustration of gender biases coded into technology products,” a UNESCO study huffed.

     Wait. Regardless of gender, polite deference is the job description of personal assistants. Can a digital construct even be “abused” by words presumably inappropriate for machines?

     Just in time, here comes a neutered AI voice called Q. In an unsettling introductory video, creepy Q says it’s been created “for a future where we’re no longer defined by gender, but rather how we define ourselves.”

     Sound familiar?

 

Amazon warehouse in Robbinsville, where the incident happened on Wednesday. Photograph- Shannon Stapleton:Reuters

Amazon warehouse in Robbinsville, where the incident happened. - Shannon Stapleton / Reuters


ROBOT REVENGE

On Dec. 7, 2018, a robot at Amazon's Robbinsville, New Jersey warehouse doused 55 employees with concentrated capsaicin, the active ingredient in a 9 oz. can of bear spray.

     Seven ambulances rushed 24 robot-stricken workers to five local hospitals, where one victim was reported in "critical condition". The assailant was not detained.

     The incident seemed inexplicable. Robots excel at rote tasks. And unlike its primate “co-workers”, the rogue machine had never complained of “inhuman” working conditions or a swiped pee bottle.

     “Fending off robot attacks is just another occupational hazard at Amazon,” sighed RT. But the robot may have been as overworked its human counterparts. Between 2015 and 2017, ambulances were called to Amazon warehouses in the UK 600 times.

 

AI PROFANITY

AI abuse works both ways. In Wales (spelled “Whales” by the U.S. President), a man was shocked when his Echo Dot assistant started calling him a “shithead” after he tried to cancel his Amazon Prime subscription.

     “When I ask it to play music, it would say ‘here’s something you might like’,” Michael Slade explained.

     Now it calls him names.


“ALL THE NEWS THAT’S APPROVED”

Still suspicious of reality, as daily evinced by all the make-believe it shovels, the New York Times wants everyone to know that “the paper of record” first sends its major scoops to the White House for approval before publication.

     Just to make sure there are “no concerns,” we’re assured.

 

FREE MONEY FOREVER

For those deeply into unreality, the $22 trillion U.S. national debt is projected to continue rising by another trillion greenbacks each year, allegedly “due to the cost of pensions and medical care for the retiring Baby Boomers.” But actually as a result of ever-costlier weapons boondoggles, and perpetual trade and shooting wars with just about every nation on Earth.

     Long-term projections by the Congressional Budget Office show the deficit will continue growing forever, “with no end in sight."

     You think?


Karen Siegemund -Twitter

 TEACHER FIRED FOR EXTOLLING WESTERN CIVILIZATION

Karen Siegemund’s contract with a private school in LA will not be renewed after the math teacher gave a speech to the American Freedom Alliance in which she praised Western civilization “and how it’s brought the greatest good to the most number of people, and we are all its beneficiaries,” she later related.

     “Which I guess is also problematic. Because there are other teachers who denigrate the president in the classroom, who wear ‘resist’ T-shirts, who promote all kinds of various leftist policies in the classroom. That’s apparently fine, because their contracts have been renewed.”

     Ghandi famously said that Western Civilization “would be a good idea.” The spiritual leader did not say it was a firing offence. 

 


AirMax 1 now only 2 grand

Kaepernick-killed shoe now just $2,500 online. (Companion shoe is free.)


WHAT WOULD BETSY SAY?

Scheduled for a July 4th rollout, Nike’s patriotic "Betsy Ross Flag" sneakers feature a nifty Revolutionary War-era U.S. flag with 13 white stars arranged in a target-like circle on each shoe’s heel.

     Now Nike is grabbing them back from retailers. The eye-catching footwear has already vanished from the company’s apps and websites.

     Turns out, Colin Kaepernick – the ex-NFL quarterback who protested police shootings of African-Americans by kneeling during the national anthem before becoming “the face of Nike” last year – informed startled company officials that the Betsy Ross flag is an offensive symbol because of its connection to an “era of slavery.

     As author Robert Bridge relates, “The ex-athlete starred in a 2018 Nike ad where he was featured before a huge American flag as the narrator said, 'Believe in something even if it means sacrificing everything.’” 

     Hypocrisy has always been a defining feature of political prissiness. 

     Try dissing Betsy Ross to President Obama, who flew her original creation at his 2nd inauguration. Presumably all cottonfields will now be plowed under, all auctions banned, and all U.S. flags burnt because the 50-star update was introduced when discrimination was rampant. Don’t forget to tear down the White House, which was built by slaves.

     On hearing of Kaepernick’s conniption, Arizona Governor Doug Ducey denounced Nike in “an angry tweet-storm” – before cancelling the state’s financial incentives for Nike’s just-announced multimillion-dollar plant in a Phoenix suburb that would have employed more than 500 workers.

     “Arizona’s economy is doing just fine without Nike. We don’t need to suck up to      companies that consciously denigrate our nation’s history,” Ducey virtuously signalled.

     Didn’t he mean, “celebrate”? 



 

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 发件人     William Thomas 2019