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Global Chaos Following PlanetX/Rapture Panic | William Thomas Online | William Thomas

Global Chaos Following PlanetX/Rapture Panic




US military dependents evacuating -USAF

U.S. military dependents evacuating -USAF



GLOBAL CHAOS FOLLOWING PLANETX/RAPTURE PANIC

 

by William Thomas



willthomasonline.net exclusive



Breaking:

Sunday Sept. 24/17


 

The world is in recovery after millions of essential employees failed to show up for work yesterday. Though airlines were especially hard hit by absent flight crews, the sudden disappearance of power plant operators, bus drivers, loan sharks, burger flippers, prostitutes and other network celebrities left cities and nations in chaos.

 

Naked police forces lacking pistols and pockets cancelled mass arrests for "gross public indecency" after multitudes of weekend workers and unpaid homemakers disrobed and ran into the streets to await express elevation into the sky. Others fearing the Nebirunian nemesis refused to venture outside.

 

Those not already terminated sheepishly plan to return to work tomorrow, after Internet sources confirmed that the long-foretold Rapture/PlanetX combo “inexplicably" never happened.



U.S. military personnal evacuation text, South Korea 9/21/17


EMERGENCY U.S. MILITARY EVACUATION ORDERED

At 1100 hours on Sept. 21, already-jittery U.S. military personnel in South Korea received tweeted and texted orders to immediately evacuate their families and pets. 

 

High-level U.S. military sources confirmed that the Noncombatant Evacuation Operation (NEO) con affected the dependents of some 28,500 U.S. “armymen.” 

 

US Navy family members board plane

U.S. Navy family members board airlift -USN photo

 

Already on high alert to repel a feared joint DPK/Nibirunian attack, stressed-out servicemembers began boarding their loved ones on hastily procured military and civil aircraft.

 

But U.S. Korea Occupation Personnel Security (USKOPS) quickly countermanded the order, calling the message a “likely hoax” and “probably not true.”

 

Col. Chad Carroll

Grinning from behind his Raybans, USKOPS spokesmanperson, Col. Chad Carrol said that despite confusion among the Command Authority in Washington, “The good news here is: informed, savvy family members... means no panic or over-reaction.”

 

Calling the false evacuation alert “deranged,” a permanently outraged Kim Jong-un said the Americans would “pay dearly” for this “latest provocation.”

 

The North Korean leader added, “Stop screwing around on our doorstep or we will shoot another rocket over Tokyo. And possibly LA.”

 

Though former N. Korean president Kim Jong-il was reportedly “a closet fan of Hollywood blockbusters,  especially James Bond films” – and his overweight kid, the nation’s current leader, played the “Rocky” theme during a special state concert – this latest Pyongyang counter-provocation was seen by many worried moviegoers as directly targeting Hollywood.


 

Kim is pissed over movie

Pissed off Kim Jong-un holds up his ballot during fifth session of 12th Supreme People's Assembly Apr. 13, 2012 -Reuters/KCNA 

 

KIM DECLARING WAR ON TINSELTOWN AGAIN?

As early as June 2014, Kim Jong-un warned that the pending premiere of a comedic plot to assassinate him would be an "act of war". If the U.S. regime failed to block release of “The Interview,” Kimmy blustered, it will face "stern" and "merciless" retaliation. His threat was carried out. The movie bombed at the box office.

 

The Dotard vowed Hollywood would be defended, “At all costs.” Keeping Americans habituated to violence and distraction is key to National Security, the putative president emphasized.


V for Vendetta


CALIFORNIANS PUT ON SEPTEMBER 22 ALERT

With many US’ers already alarmed by the impending Rapture/PlanetX double-whammy, around 11 am on Friday, viewers across Southern California received an apocalyptic warning from their TVs.

 

Suddenly, sophisticated “programming” was interrupted by a black screen and a male voice, widely believed to be either “God” or “Hitler”, ominously intoning: “Realize this, extremely violent times will come.” 

 

“It almost sounded like Hitler talking. It sounded like a radio broadcast coming through the television,” said Lake Forest resident, Stacy Laflamme.

 

“I was definitely startled, because the volume increased exponentially,” Erin Mireles added.

 

Another viewer called it “totally creepy,” while still another said it was “the most unsettling thing I have heard in my life.”

 

One second I'm watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians, the next I get this emergency alert about the impending violence,” added another shaken suburbanite.

 

Obviously attempting a hasty cover-up, a Cox cable rep said the mystery voice was picked up by affected TVs during an “emergency test” being conducted by radio broadcasters. The spokesman for the CBS affiliate did not say why the Emergency Broadcast Network would warn of “extremely violent times.”


 

5th end world survivor -rottenecards

  -rottenecards


AFTERMATH

The disorienting return of clarity and awareness – and a global realization that we are being conned on everything from 9/11 to the "need" for endless weapons and “entertainment” profits by warmongering corporations and their faceless bankster backers – was blamed on a worldwide shortage of spin doctors.

 

"This was worse than Y2K," Russia's president told an emergency session of the Duma, before declaring September 23 a national holiday to "remember the threat to civilization posed by all religious crazies, duraks (fools) and purveyors of fake news."

 

America's president immediately denounced Putin's move as "proof" that the Russians had hijacked PlanetX and "hacked" the Rapture. WITH USA IN MORAL, MONEY & METERLOGIC DECLINE, SEPTEMBER 23 WOULD SOLVED EVERYTHING, his tweaker aides typo’d.

 

An impulsively called White House press conference explained that "to avoid the outbreak of peaceful negotiations and get everything back on track," the world's #1 rogue state was "going to have to follow through" on recent threats to attack Cuba, Venezuela, Iran, Russia, China, North Korea, Syria and Seattle "as soon as our military returns to work."

 

From FOX News to Alex Jones, red-faced "experts" demanded to know how the Nibirunian navigators had "missed our entire solar system.


 

US special forces hunt Nibirunians in Raqqa, Syria -Delil Souleman -AFP Getty

U.S. special forces hunt Nibirunians in Raqqa, Syria -Delil Souleman AFP/Getty


NIBIRU LAUNCHES HIGH-LEVEL PROTEST

What few knew was that the Nibirunian ambassador had already lodged a formal complaint with the Pan Galactic Alliance after the PGA used an emergency tractor beam to tow PlanetX away from Earth and flick it toward the centre of the galaxy, where it was swallowed like a marble disappearing down a gravity well by a massive black hole.

 

The sharply-worded official protest was received by a sleepy tech at 02534 ZMT. It read, !**!^530foj'v$#!!?... before being abruptly cut-off by the collapsed star's frequency-snuffing Event Horizon.

 

Loud-mouthed Nibirunian ambassadpr

loud-mouthed Nibirunian ambassadpr


The undiplomatic and possibly politically incorrect tweet was accompanied by a fuzzily-transmitted image showing three raised middle-fingers on the same "hand".

 

PGA spokescreature Ronetta WgIUD6Weiwi responded that the council's Non-Interference Pact (NIP) forbids members from messing with wayward planets like Earth.

 

Ronetta

"The Nibirunians should get a life and lay off that blue rock orbiting a minor star on the fringes of this largely ignored M5 Galaxy," Ronetta remonstrated. "It's not worth the time and trouble to intervene, as the obstinate Earthlings appear perfectly willing and capable of destroying their own planet without any help from the lizard people."

 

But Alliance scientists warned that the nasty Nibirunians could be eventually spit out "the other end" of the black hole in the vicinity of Earth, restarting the recurring PlanetX hysteria on the third planet from the sun.

 


False Rapture alarm

 

VATICAN IN CONFUSION

Meanwhile, Vatican representatives expressed puzzlement that the globally-heralded Rapture also failed to take place as scheduled on September 23, in conjunction with the PlanetX fly-by.

 

"It's clear that God once again intervened to save Earth from total destruction," stated a papal press release. "Which is odd, since He booked Armageddon in the first place. Even God should know you don’t schedule big events on weekends."

 

An angel interviewed by Rooters news agency while going off-shift expressed disappointment, claiming that her co-guardians are becoming exhausted and "dispirited" by their constant lobbying on humanity's behalf.

 


Janis with her Southern Comfort


Taking what she described as a "needed" hit of whiskey, St. J. Joplin lamented, "Humans are constantly praying for divine intercession, while refusing to take responsibility for saving their own children and the offspring of all rapidly disappearing species from the ecological disasters they are causing.

 

"It doesn't work that way," the former hippy singer added in a gravelly voice. "You don't get to sit on your hands and demand to be saved."

 

In a follow-up tweet, U.S. President You-Know-Who slammed what he termed "Vatican voodoo" to fool “gullible people" into sending more money “to that eco-nut wearing a beanie and robes." 

 

The notorious businessman – who made billions bilking his employees and declaring multiple bankruptcies before turning the presidency into a personal ATM – said he would be "willing to consider" erecting one of his trademark towers beside the Basilica in Rome. 


 

Rapture '92

 

2017 LATEST RAPTURE FAIL

Other bible pounders vehemently asserted that the Rapture did take place, as predicted by a Brazilian senator and millions of online bots.

 

"I have personally heard of at least three believers who were taken up into heaven on the 23rd," Rev. Marty Fallup asserted in a televised nationwide address. "That nearly eight-billion people were Left Behind would seem to indicate that we have a ways to go before all humankind wakes up and GITS SAVED!"

 

clothing left behind -Tucson Weekly

The perennial preacher of the Endless End Times & Final, Final Last Days said the ascensions were confirmed after clothing belonging to three missing persons was found draped over cars and trees in their front yards. "This would indicate extremely rapid levitation," the pastor pointed out. "They were obviously pulling g's."

draped tree


The Rapture Channel repeatedly aired clips from four different YouTubes purportedly showing “clothes challenged” male devotees being hoisted from three remote mountaintops... by rescue choppers.


The angry doomsday revelers demanded to be returned to their icy eyries because, as one of them told authorities, “We want to join God’s nudist colony.”

 

Though one video was quickly exposed as a fake, all four were pulled by YouTube for displaying “lewd behavior.”

 

CNN flashed its own message to bewildered, relieved and disillusioned viewers: "Please check back for further updates in 20,000 years.



Earth assailed by PlanetX magentic storms

Earth fights off PlanetX magentic storms -official NASA image




See hair-raising Prequel: NIBIRU IS COMING!!!

 发件人     William Thomas 2017